The Attack of the Chenglish

03 Oct

Readers! It’s been a busy few days. “But it’s a holiday week,” you say with confusion. “How on earth could you be busy when you aren’t teaching classes?”

WELL, allow me to explain. But first, I need to share something with you.

My calves are HAWWT. Seriously, I’m not sure how this one slipped by me, but I realized in front of some gym mirrors a few days ago that I got some fine calves. Like, they’re muscly and stuff. Just thought you should know. With that overdose of self-appreciation, let’s move on to a far more interesting topic.

Like Chenglish!

For realz guys, you stay the fuck away from those bears. This is a big problem in metropolitan Tianjin. OK, so I went to 水上公园 (Park on the Water) the other day, and there was a butt-ton of classic Chenglish examples. Since I was the only white person in the whole park, I had absolutely no shame taking pictures of them all.

This one may be somewhat hard to read, but trust me when I say that her shirt says “The end of an ISORATED DREAM–Never leave me alone.” Oh, the tried-and-true R/L mix-up!

Here, we learn that China is so earth-hating, that they are literally able to UNRECYCLE trash. That’s brutal… you could just throw it in the ocean or something instead. And the worst part is, they’re smiling about it! You take that blatant rip-off of a Wal-mart sticker and put it on the Wu Mart building instead.

And last, but not least, here’s a cute, innocent little girl… Wait, what does her shirt say?! For shame!

With that piece of Chenglish education out of the way, I’d like to announce the beginning of my two online college courses, and how foolish of a decision it was to sign up for them. I need to once again remember how to get As with minimal effort… For the moment, I’m reading the textbook, and studying, and generally caring far too much. This level of effort can’t possibly last for 8 weeks.

In other news, I’m going to Beijing tomorrow for a few days so that I can be hollered at by “friendly art students who’d like to show you their gallery (for a price)” and “two lonely travelers who will gladly let you pay for their KTV and alcohol thank you very much.” Actually, I’m hoping that I meet none of those people, so I can experience the culture and crowds in (relative) peace and quiet.

I will leave you with a couple of pictures from 滨江道 Binjiangdao that my friend and I took a couple of weeks ago.  No children were pushed off the horse in the making of these photos.


Posted by on October 3, 2012 in Tianjin


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2 responses to “The Attack of the Chenglish

  1. Danielle Whipple

    October 3, 2012 at 4:39 pm

    I love the two Chinese girls who are looking at you like “WTF???”.

    • cornchipmeteor

      October 6, 2012 at 5:53 pm

      They’re obviously jealous of how cool I am.


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