22 Nov

Happy Turkey Day, from the land of no turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and pumpkin pie dinners!

Seriously, I’m not that bitter about it. It would be nice to have a big slice of pie right about now, but it’s nbd. Compared to my Thanksgiving last year in Afghanistan, this one is about 5000% better. Although I do miss the costumes.

I’ve had the honor and privilege of teaching my students about Thanksgiving this week. They were woefully ignorant of the finer points of the holiday (everything), so I educated them about all the food, and the football, and the shopping. When I asked one of my classes what Americans ate for Thanksgiving, all they could come up with was a tentative “Dumplings?” Not quite, young one. Not quite.

I’ve also made my classes watch the classic clip from “The Addam’s Family Values,” where Wednesday and Pugsley wreak havoc at summer camp. The white-empowering play of the first Thanksgiving between Pilgrims and Indians gets a hearty dose of reality, as the Pilgrims get thrown into the lake, tied to a stake, and roasted over the fire. Wednesday’s rant about the inequalities between whites and Native Americans is brutal in its honesty. She was my childhood hero.

(Photo courtesy

In other news, I went to the gym for the first time in a week! It felt really good, although my lung capacity and muscle mass have seriously decreased from a month ago. It makes me really sad and unmotivated to work out, but that would cause a vicious cycle resulting in Fatty McFat Fat Kirsten. So in this case, it’s best to ignore the voices in my head.

I was “rewarded” during my Thanksgiving workout with more half-naked Chinese men than normal. The shirtless thing isn’t even a big deal anymore, but this guy took it to the next level. He decided to change outside of the shower room, right next to the free weights area. So I got to see him in his tighty whities. Greeeeeat. Thanks for that, dude. Sometimes you don’t know to be grateful for something (fully clothed people in the gym,) until you go somewhere with slightly different standards.

Luckily, my bike ride home made up for it. I think they waited for me to ride past them (not really, but a girl can pretend), until they started shooting off the fireworks. It was like a Thanksgiving/4th of July mash-up! Now, it’s not like fireworks are a rare thing in China, since they like to set them off daily, early in the morning, specifically to wake me up, I think, but it was still nice to see them so close. I may also be deaf in my right ear now, but let’s focus on the positive.

So merry Thanksgiving, everyone! I am grateful for my wonderful family and friends, no matter how close or how many thousands of miles away they are, and for this opportunity to gather so many new experiences and funny stories for dinner parties. Life is good.


Posted by on November 22, 2012 in University


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2 responses to “T-Day

  1. Danielle Whipple

    November 27, 2012 at 9:08 am

    That entire scene from Addams Family Values will be close to my heart for the rest of my lift. “We cannot break bread with you…. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They have said, ‘Do not trust the Pilgrims, especially Sarah Miller’… And for all these reasons I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground.” That gave us such a source of comfort with all those type of people we had to deal with in our lives.

    • cornchipmeteor

      November 27, 2012 at 12:46 pm

      “White meat aaaaand dark meat, take it away!!” Ahh, I didn’t realize quite how racist that whole play was when I was a kid. For serious, I think getting tied to a stake, covered in gasoline, and threatened with a lit match is worthy punishment for the world’s bigots.

      “And when they woke up…. all their old noses grew back!” ❤ Wednesday.


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